Money

I don't consider myself a materialistic person. Well, a little as in I like to shop and enjoy buying things for myself and other people. However, when push comes to shove, I know that what's real important in my life isn't money. The things that matter most to me are that my kids are mine and they're healthy, that I have a faithful husband, I have a job, I have a great family and great friends. That's what really matters to me.

Being a decent person with fairly good values is why the money issue bothers me so much. I have my priorities straight and yet still find that so much of my life is based on money. And I hate that.

The truth is that we struggle a great deal. I don't let myself feel sorry for myself because I am perfectly aware that so many people have it so much worse than I do. Regardless of how strapped I feel, I am still a lucky person. However, it does get frustrating that so much of my life revolves around money. I'm sure other people feel the same way. We don't want our lives to be about money, but it is.

It's a fact that we need it. We need to pay our rent or mortgage, we need to make car payments, we need to put gas in our cars, we need to buy food, we need to pay bills, we need money for bills and so much more. And if you don't have the money for these things then you suffer. You either have no home, can't pay your bills, go hungry and so on. Sometimes you have creditors banging down your door night and day. The list goes on. Money, money, money.

Whether we like it or not, we are forced to strive to make more money. We are pushed to the point of money being the guiding force behind what we do on a daily basis. I understand the need for money of course. And I understand that anything worth having is worth working for, so work and earn your money. But I still hate when every month I struggle to just to survive and have to really stretch my dollar to do anything extra for my kids or myself.

It just seems like a shame that so many of us have to work so hard just so we can get by. And sometimes we don't get by. We end up filing for bankruptcy, losing homes or cars, go on welfare, or live of Top Ramen. I'm lucky, I do get my bills paid and we manage to have some sort of life, as well as doing some extra things for the kids. But some months that doesn't work. And I think about my student loans coming due in January and wonder how we can afford an extra $300 bill. I don't know.

I know so many of us are in the same boat. And the cost to live just keeps getting higher and higher while we don't make any more money. Yet, you have people like our governor, Schwarzenegger, who made 20+ million dollars per film! How is possible? There is no balance. I believe there is enough money in this world for us all, it's just too bad we can't earn some of it. It's too bad that we have to live each day according to the dollar.

I don't suppose there is an easy answer to this. But the truth is, good people work hard every day and get so little in return. Believe me, there is no lack of gratefulness, but still. I suppose I sound ungrateful and shallow to some degree, but only in the sense that I feel we all deserve more, that we all deserve to feel secure and live without the knowledge that the reason we are losing cars and homes and have no freedom to break away from jobs we can't stand is because of money.

It can't buy you love, that much is soooo true. But it can buy you financial peace of mind, clear credit, a safe car, a good education and maybe lower your blood pressure.

Living in a material world,
Sissy