Yippee!!

Yee haw!! I'm a happy camper today. I've been very upset with my current career at the bank. I've been there a year and a half, been promoted and have not had one raise. It was really depressing me that I was working so hard, getting much more responsibility and yet nothing came of it. I was beginning to think I should look elsewhere. I was actually approached by a 'rival' bank, (yes, we have rivals in the banking industry...it's a cutthroat business lol).

As it goes, I was on my way to actually somewhat interview for a position at the other bank when I received a phone call from the courthouse, offering me a position that I had applied for several months ago.

I had given up the position since I was number 4 on the list and they only keep names on it for six months. It's been for. I wrote it off. But, lo and behold, they called and offered me a job. I jumped on it, as well as peed my pants. Well, not really, but I was really happy.

I start in two weeks and will be making $2 hour more, have benefits for the family, bonuses, retirement, vacations, as well as a lot of incentives. It's an amazing opportunity. It also will offer me a chance to use my criminal justice degree I worked so hard for. Now I am a Superior Court Clerk.

I'm soooooo happy!!

Let's hope I don't see any of you at work :-)
Sissy

My Bucket List

I saw the movie the Bucket List and even though it is so unrealistic it's almost ridiculous, it is still a fun, joyful, emotional movie that I really liked. So I got to thinking about what would be on my bucket list if I had one. Right away a million things come to mind: shop at mall with a no limit credit card, marry Brad Pitt :-), own a Corvette for every it's made, to name a few. But these are absurd. More like fantasy. What I wanted to think about is what would I TRULY want to put on that list. I imagined that I suddenly know my time is up, what is my next move? Other than spending every spare moment with my family, what would I want to do? Frankly, I really feel that having the luxury of being able to say goodbye is a bittersweet blessing that I think would make it easier. Yet that isn't DOING something, it isn't satisfying that need to have no regrets, the need to be able to say 'I did that'. So, I'm gonna try to keep it to a minimum. Here is my bucket list:

Parachute out of an airplane. That's right, I really do want to jump out of a perfectly good plane. I want to feel that rush of being weightless, free falling through the clouds and wind.

Follow Route 66 all the way from start to finish on the back of a motorcycle, arms around my favorite guy.

Go to Ireland. I don't know why, I just do. I'm certainly not Irish, at least not in this life.

Take my kids to Disney World. The way my life is going I'll never even make Disneyland, but Disney World would be the absolute best. Disney really is the happiest place on Earth.

Swim with dolphins. Ok, I'm terrified of the ocean. Well, not actually the ocean. It's beautiful, I love to swim and I love the beach. However, other than losing my kids, sharks are just about the one and only thing that really terrifies. I mean it. I hate them. I can't even see them on TV, even fake ones, without being scared and having nightmares. But I love dolphins and can't imagine the feel of one touching me as we glide effortlessly through the blue water. The clear water, so I can see what's coming.

Visit every inch of the Smithsonian. The history of this country: old and new, good and bad, fun and miserable can all be found at the Smithsonian. Every incredible and fascinating thing in our past, present and future is there and I want to see every bit of it.

Learn to ballroom dance. I love it. I love to see it and when I'm alone I love to pretend I know how to do it. In this lifetime, I'd like to more than pretend. Preferably, I'd like to learn with my husband, but that won't happen.

Make up with my dad. I miss him.

So, there it is. My bucket list. I suppose there is more, I'm sure of it. But I won't be greedy. I'll just keep it to a minimum and save some stuff for someone else's bucket list.

Here's to hoping I'll not be kicking any time soon,
Sissy

Today...I wear flip flops!!

That's right. Today is amazingly beautiful and I have the day off so it is my first dance with the liberating world of flip flop wearing. Granted, they often leave style to wind in exchange for breeziness and comfort, but who cares? They may not make my outfit but they are making my day. My dogs are happy and eating up the sunshine. They feel free. As it goes, I'm an extremely white, bordering on transparent, person and can stand nothing more than when my tan line ends at my ankles with a vivid stripe. Sorry, no I'm not wearing white booties, that's my horrendous tan line! Hence, I love the flip flop. Shall I continue on and also mention that I'm currently wearing, along with said flip flops, a wife beater and brown skirt, aching to feel the fresh air everywhere possible and still be legal. The skirt wearing is a feat I'm especially proud of as I have not worn one in about 8 years, due to being heavier and self conscious. But now, no longer being a size 20, I feel great. I'm a size 10 now and plan on wearing skirts and shorts all summer, along with the ever pleasant flip flops.

Happy Summer,
Sissy

Men are Ridiculous

I have to write about this because the absurdity of what goes on at the bank I work at is so hilarious. Let me just say that what I'm talking about is a daily where I work, daily. That means each day.

I'll start by saying that we are a small community, small bank. We have 10 employees, all of us are women. We range from 19-52. Mostly in the twentysomething range. I'm the third oldest at 33. Some of us are married, all are seriously involved. We range in many shapes and colors. Frankly, we are a beautiful team, inside and out. I love the girls I work with.

Ok, now for the beginning of my point...

One girl in particular, Katee, who is 22, 5 foot 8, 120 pounds, generous breasts, adorable freckles, long legs, small butt, long hair and perfect teeth, makes us all feel especially inferior. Just kidding, she is really extremely model stunning but she also happens to be very funny, witty and quite smart. She's a great package in and out. I love her.

Now that you know a little about Katee you should know that she has little competition in terms of stereotypical beauty. I think we have some really stunning girls, but Katee fits the mold society has created as being the epitome of beauty. That said, I'll move on.

Each day we are faced with knowledge that we are no Katee!! Sir, I'd be happy to help you. Thanks, but I'm waiting for Katee! Go ahead of me ma'am, I'm waiting for Katee. Hey, where is Katee? I haven't seen Katee, where is she? Does Katee have a boyfriend? "how would you like your change sir?" What? Oh, sorry I was looking at Katee. Can you get me Katee's phone number?

Believe me, I know how it sounds. It sounds like an exaggeration. But it isn't, I kid you not. We have one man who slips his wedding ring off when he enters the bank and will only go to Katee. There is another who spends every minute talking about her beauty, only to add half heartedly as he leaves that we're pretty too. Gee, thanks buddy. Our Brinks truck driver radios his partner inside the vault so he can tell Katee how pretty she is and she should be on the Next Top Model. One guy physically leaned across two customers to get close to her and had to be snapped at twice to get back to business. Another, much older, man looks in every corner for her, and grills us as to where she is. Is she with a boy? And so on and so and scooby dooby doo....

The behavior these men and boys revert to is incredible and ridiculous. I wonder if these guys realize the way they are acting. It's hilarious. I told her today that I'm really glad she uses her super powers for good. She laughs. Frankly, I think she herself is sick of it. She is really smart, but men treat her like that doesn't matter. In that sense, I feel bad for her.

Having stated all that I will add that is in fact quite true that Katee could be the next top model, if she wanted to, but she doesn't and I think that earns her some points in my book....

I love ya Katee.
Sissy

Flirting, Or Friendly Conversation??

Last night me and the husband and kids went to good old Wal-Mart. Hey, we need excitement too! As well as toothpaste. Anyway, we managed to accumulate all of our necessities, which always seem to total at least a hundred dollars, which we can ill afford. We proceed to checkout.

Ox and kids stand idly by while I control the debit machine. Our checker is a young man about 20ish. He is very nice. Comments on my movie purchase (The Princess Bride, love it). He loves it too! Insert shared laughter about key film parts. Now we discuss the crazy weather. It's hot, it's cold. Dang, I had to start a fire last night, and was wearing cutoffs yesterday, what's up with the bipolar weather??

Purchases made, leave the store. Now we are driving home. Yee Haw...Def Leppard concert on the radio. Wait, no, he's turning it off. I was listening to that you know.

"It was fun watching that kid hit on you," he tells me. What? He was not!! "Yes, he was," says the peanut gallery in the backseat (thanks Slim). I explain we were simply having a friendly conversation and no one was hitting on anyone. I proceed to say that I have conversations such as those several times a day with customers at work. "So, guys hit on you all day?" he asks. Ummm...ok, now what do I say? NO ONE hit on me!! He insists differently. Well, I say, if he was flirting with me than I was flirting with him too as were both enjoying the conversation. "Yes, you were flirting too," he says.

Now what do I say? I thought it was a nice, fun conversation. The boy was young enough to almost be my son. Well, not quite, but young anyway.

So, my question is this: what's the difference between flirting and friendly conversation? Is there a difference? If so, am I skanky and flirty with the boys/men? Where's the dang line? How do I know when I cross it?

So, then I had to do a repair job. He's wondering why his wife and the Wal-Mart clerk are flirting right in front of him. And I'm wondering why he's so uptight because I enjoy conversing with people. And if the conversation I had with that person was flirtatious then I am sorry to say I do flirt daily, and not only with the boys!!

Sissy

A small laugh

I have a friend here that is a writer. He frequents the bank and we have many conversations about great literature and films and so on. In reality, if he comes in I often neglect other work. It's true. I'm ashamed!! Anyway, he's very clever and I like talking to him. He's older and has been around. He even knew Harper Lee, who wrote the amazing novel "To Kill a Mockingbird". Well, this author friend of mine wrote a book called "The Court of the Lion". It's a very long, intense novel about the Tang dynasty. Very serious and detailed. Not a light read. Anyway, I digress. He came in today and we were talking about his current venture, a new book. He decided to share a funny story. He had written a few chapters and sent them to his editor who wrote back, wanting to know why he finds it necessary to write about a crap filled lake. Huh??? Dan is thinking wtf is she talking about??? Long story short, he meant to write about the CARP filled lake!!! But spell check didn't catch it because crap is a word!! Ok, maybe it's not as funny writing or reading about it as it was when he was telling me today, but I think if you use your imagination you can picture the scenario. I busted out laughing!! I couldn't stop and had to actually take a break to calm down. I don't know if it was the way he told it, or the idea of a crap filled lake, but it struck me as hilarious. Just thought I'd share some humor....
Sissy

Why do I bother??

I've went on strike about 75 times this year. Really. I will walk into my daughters bathroom and see the caked on toothpaste in the sink, the disgusting bathtub ring, fourteen pairs of pants piled in the corner and a myriad of products littering every empty space and I think: "If I can dig my way out back into the light, I'm never coming in to this hurricane again."

I vow that I will never step foot into the dark abyss known as my daughters bathroom. There is so much crap in it that I feel fairly certain there are some new species or lifeforms growing in my very own house. Do I throw up, or call NASA with the great new discovery, hoping they'll name it after me?

However, my disgust and horror and the utter depravity subsides and find myself on my hands and knees, clawing my way through the clothes piles, scrubbing my way through the grime...leaving a glowing, sanitized bathing area in its place.

Why do I do it? Why do I vow to not do it ever again and let them deal with their own messes and then clean it anyway? What is wrong with me? Am I defective? Do I have the Donna Reed gene that forces me to clean, even when I don't want to?

I know what you're saying, make those little buggers do it themselves. Honestly, they made the mess. They make it, I clean it. I cook it, they eat. They wear it, I wash it. Do you see the pattern?

Ok, I'm totally serious now. I will not clean that filthy, disgusting pigsty of a bathroom again, regardless of what might be growing underneath the clothes pile. I won't do it!!!

Staying strong,
Sissy

Cats or Dogs???

Ok, which do you like best???

Me, I'm a cat person. I like independence, and I like their snobbiness. Plus, I love burying my face in the soft fur of their underbelly.

Now, how about you? Which do you prefer? And why?

Sissy

My Guilty Pleasures

Ok, here are some of my favorite guilty pleasures in life. The list is far too long and likely to be illegal in some states (LOL) so I'll keep it simple.

Chocolate Covered Peanuts- Love them sooooo much.

Buttered Popcorn dipped in Nacho Cheese- This is my absolute favorite movie snack. I can speed through about 3000 calories in a nanosecond when my cravings go this route.

Action Movies- Yup, I love watching sh*t get blown up and I'm not ashamed to admit it.

People Magazine- I try to avoid the whole Hollywood gossip thing, but I love people magazine and though I don't subscribe, I should.

Rick James' song Superfreak- Hello, this song moves! It's ridiculous and absurd but has me on my feet doing the Running Man and howling at the moon in no time.

Dirty Rap Songs- Generally speaking, I hate rap music. I just don't find it entertaining or musical. However, there are a few choice (frankly, x-rated) songs that I can't help but listen to.

Candles- I spend way too much money on candles. Well, actually anything scented vanilla or coconut.

Bad Boys- I like bad boys. It's true. But so do you. Come one, what girl doesn't? Remember Johnny Depp and Richard Grieco on 21 Jump Street? Or Lorenzo Lamas on Renegade? Not the best shows, but great bad boys.

80's music- I love the music of the 80's (minus the Thompson Twins).

And my numero uno secret shame:

I steal pens!! That's right, I'm a pen klepto. If you have a pen and use it front of me, or let me borrow one...you will NOT get it back and that's a promise!!

As a side note: The Dollar Store, second hand stores and garage sales are also an addictive guilty pleasure of mine.

Ok, now you know what a moron I am...

Sissy

The Forbidden Kingdom

We just got home from watching the new Jackie Chan/Jet Li movie, The Forbidden Kingdom. I have been a giant Jackie Chan fan for a VERY long time and have seen pretty much everything he's been in, including the movies he made in Hong Kong. I even own and have actually read his biography. (As a note: I really loved it and found myself feeling inspired, saddened, humored and touched by his story, I recommend it for sure).

Though I can't say I've been a huge Jet Li fan for forever and a day I can say that I have been a fan for a while. I guess it was probably when Lethal Weapon 4 came out (I love those movies). I thought Jet Li was amazing and found myself wishing I was his beloved girlfriend, oops!! I mean, pupil, of course.

I don't have an infatuation with Asian men, martial arts, Asian culture or films, though I do tend to love martial arts films, I admit. I pretty much love action movies. Well, lots of movies really. But I have a soft spot for action. And I really love a great action movie bad guy...and good guys too, sometimes. Jackie Chan is the good guy, and how can you not love him? But Jet Li is sooooo good when he's bad.

Back to the movie. In it, both are good guys. Actually, both are two (adding up to four) good guys. Both have dual roles. I won't give away any details, promise. No spoilers here!

When I heard about this movie I was so excited I almost peed my pants. Okay, maybe it was more of a dribble, but I was REALLY excited anywho. I could not wait to see my two favorite Asian action stars in one movie! It was too good to be true. I've been waiting patiently for it, knowing it had to be amazing to see them two working together.

Was I disappointed, or satisfied? Guess....

Ok, I won't make you guess. I loved it!!! Loved it, loved it and loved it. Did I mention, I loved it?

Well, I have to be honest and admit that the plot was reminiscent of some other movies I've seen, but what movie isn't? But it just didn't matter. It was too much fun.

We all know that Jackie Chan is a funny guy. He often seems the reluctant, bewildered hero (not counting the Rush Hour films). He's just funny and comes across as lovable. This movie was no different, aside from having some serious dreds going on. However, what some may not realize is that Jet Li is also quite funny and charming. To be honest, I didn't really know myself. Though he does take on his more serious persona that I find so sexy and mysterious he also has a role that is, frankly, silly and ridiculous. I mean that in a good way. He was too cute.

As a side note while I'm talking about characters here I have to say the kid in the movie (can't recall his name) reminds me so much of Colin Ferrell. Is it just me? Anyway, he was really cute, though he had chest chair but seemed so young. Not sure why I associate chest hair solely with large, older men, but I do.

Okay, I'm focusing.

Naturally, there has to be fight scene between the two. Who would forgive the filmmakers if they cast Jackie Chan and Jet Li in a movie together and then didn't have a fight scene? It would be like casting Fred Astaire and Ginger Rogers and then they never dance.

So, the fight scene was quite long (thank you!!) and very fast paced (thanks again!!). And it was so entertaining. They played off of each other so well. What fun it would have been to be there while they made it. There is a lot of moves that are much like what I first saw in Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon. You know, the floating on flowers and sword blades, but it's ok. Generally, I like the traditional and realistic fighting, but this kind is okay too. They are not supposed to be 'normal' men, so doing the impossible works fine.

So, I don't think I've given away very much about the actual movie. If you think I have, sue me. Not that you'll get much. I just wanted to sing my praises of a really fun movie starring to really great entertainers. I hope you will go see it too and enjoy it as much as I did.

See you at the movies,
Sissy

I'm an Odd Card & No One Gets Me

Brief Note: I'm changing the topic of the day, eliminating it actually. Now that I'm back at work full time I can't get online every day, so I'll get on when I can.

ALWAYS THE WEIRDO

Ok, the title of this blog kind of implies that I'm whining and upset about being the odd card and that no one gets me. The truth of the matter is just the opposite, I actually really like being the one that is different and hard to get. I don't see it as a bad thing, except when I say something I think is extremely funny and yet everyone is looking at me as if I just made a racial joke at an NAACP meeting. (as a note: this would never be me, I'm not that odd or rude).

The thing about me is that I sometimes laugh at things in life, things people say or parts of movies that I find hilarious, and yet I find I'm often the only one laughing. My sense of humor is, at best, odd. Like me.

I look at things a lot differently than most people. I just have different ways of thinking. It tends to make the odd man out. And it's ok with me. Truth is, I think it's us odd ones that make life more interesting. I may come off as weird or even snobby, but I'm not. I just see things from a unique angle.

Happy to be Weird,
Sissy

Topic of the Day

Teenage Girls

I remember being a teenager as being a very fun and happy time for me. I wasn't worried about adult issues, like sex and relationships, I just wanted to have fun. Well, that did change and I ended up a mother at 18. However, until I was 17, being a teenager was all about fun. I hung out with friends, my sister, went to movies and the mall. Good times. And, to be honest, my parents seemed pretty pleased with who I was too. I got a long with them and actually enjoyed conversing with them as well. Maybe I'm a weirdo, who knows?

But times have changed. Teenage girls do not have the same kind of fun that we did. They are worried about the adult issues, like sex and guys and makeup and being cool. Cool, to me, was buying the newest Van Halen cassette (that's right,no cd's). But not now. I think about this a lot since I have daughter who is almost 16, and she's had more boyfriends already than I practically have my whole life.

She's a good kid, mostly. Kind of total brat when it comes to school and helping around the house. But she hasn't gotten into drinking or smoking and has not ever been in any real trouble at school. (listen, I'm knocking as I write). That said, she still finds it necessary to have a boyfriend or she's bummed out, and when she has one she is totally absorbed in it. He becomes her life, and they speak to each other as if they are old married people, even referring to each other as spouses!! wtf!!???

Kids should not be like this!! They should be worried about other things. But not about sex and relationships and drinking. I just don't understand and feel bad that they are growing up so fast. When I was a young girl growing up fast meant we needed to finally buy a training bra at 12 years old. Nowadays the 12 year old girls are already growing bigger boobs than me!!

Frankly, my daughter is like an alien to me. I just can't understand her. I try. I'm a pretty cool mom. I'm pretty lenient and kickback. She doesn't really have any chores. She is doing horrible in school and isn't grounded for life (though I'm seriously considering that option). But no matter what I do, I just don't get her. I ask her to take out the trash or pick up the bathroom or tell her to come inside and she acts as if she was just told she was going to military school. I'm such a slave driver!! Whatever!

I love her, but I'm beginning to think I made mess of it along the way somewhere. I grew up and did what I was told, and didn't whine and sulk and get pissy about it. I didn't consider it an act of tyranny when I was told to do dishes. Oh, where have I gone wrong? Ok, that's a little dramatic, but still. Who the heck is this foreigner in my house?

Dazed and Confused,
Sissy

Missing Things

Hey, it's been a while since I've touched base. Just wanted to say, 'hey I'm still alive'. I have a sick little one and she's demanding a lot of care. Today's a little better so trying to catch up.
Sissy

Topic of the Day

Some Favorite Quotes of Mine

Well behaved women rarely make history- Marilyn Monroe

From my rotting body flowers shall grown and I am in them and that is eternity- Edvard Munch

One of the most adventurous things left us is to go to bed. For no one can lay a hand on our dreams- E.V. Lucas

Always forgive your enemies, nothing annoys them as much- Oscar Wilde

A friend is one who knows you and loves you just the same- Elbert Hubbard

Imagination is more important than knowledge- Albert Einstein

It's not that I'm so smart, it's that I stay with problems longer- Albert Einstein

Unbeing dead isn't being alive- E.E. Cummings

Green is the prime color of the world, and that from which its loveliness arises- Pedro Calderon de la Barca

We loved with a love that was more than love- Edgar Allan Poe

Everything has beauty but not everyone sees it- Confucius

You can't wait for inspiration, you have to go after it with a club- Jack London

Do, or do not. There is no 'try'- Yoda

Not deciding is deciding not to- Tony Robbins

THERE ARE MORE, TOO MANY MORE. MAYBE I'LL ADD ON HERE AND THERE....
SISSY

Topic of the Day

When Cuteness Turns Annoying

Once upon a time I was dating a guy and he had this funny quirk where he would make this little blowing sound while he sleeps. He would lay next to me at night and I would hear this little whisper of escaping air gently passing his lips and fading into the dark. I would smile and chuckle about how I had never seen that before and that it was adorable and silly at the same time.

Ok, fast forward to some years later....

If I have to hear that whispering waking me from my sleep one more time I'm going to scream!! I mean it. There I am, relaxed and coasting into dreamland and suddenly, next to me, and sometimes felt on my skin, is this incessant deflating tire sound. Ugh! Not so cute.

I have to laugh at the sudden change. When I used to want to snuggle next to him due to its adorability factor, now I just want to elbow him and make him roll over so he'll stop. Honestly, it isn't even a snore. It's like the sound a ball makes when you let the air out of it. And if he's close enough and I have to hear that blasted sound or feel that hot air on me it really just makes me want to slug him, asleep or not.

Why do you suppose those little habits that once were charming and lovable become annoying and violence inducive? (is that a word??) And you know it's not just his little deflation, there's a lot of things I thought were once kinda cute and endearing and now find a pain in my butt and ridiculous.

He'll wake me up with it and the next morning I'm totally bitchy to him. That's right, he absolutely should have total control of his unconscious body functions, even in sleep. How can you be so annoying? Huh?? He has no clue, yet I'm still holding it against. Oh, you know what you did Mr. I-Have-A-Hole-In-My-Michelin??

That said, there are a few qualities about him that I loved then and I love now. Some are physical qualities, like his crows feet. He hates them, but I think they are the cutest, sexiest things ever. When we kiss I love taking my fingers and running them along the corners of his eyes. And he has this little way of puckering his lips when he says certain words. Awww...so cute. Reminds me of Tim Robbins, but cuter.

I don't know, marriage and years together really change you. You really become someone new. You are still you, but you're also a 'we' now. When you're just a 'dater', you're living to impress, open to that person, not focused on yourself. But when you're married and together some time you become more apt to focus on yourself again and so the things you the dater didn't mind are now a thorn in your married side.

However, that said, nothing beats being with someone who knows you so well. It's great knowing you can wake up with morning breath, leave off makeup for a week, burp after a large soda or smell like vomit after a week with the flu and that there is someone who loves you, wants you, needs you and all of those disgusting things just don't matter as much as the love that you share together, the comfort and companionship of finding your soul mate.

And I think I have...
Sissy

Topic of the Day

Yup....Still Human

This summer I will have my 8th wedding anniversary. To me, this is a feat I had long believed virtually impossible. You see, I have issues. Yeah, me, who knew? But I do. My biggest issue in terms of relationships is that: 1)I always hated sharing my bed with anyone 2)I can't stand most people for more than 15 minutes when alone with them 3)Bathrooms are not meant to be occupied by 2 4)No one ever gets my ridiculous jokes!!

Well, after some time, I found someone I actually prefer to keep in bed with me, we have fun together long after 15 minutes, he not only gets my jokes but makes dumb ones of his own. However, I still hate sharing the bathroom, that's a forever thing! All in all, we're usually a pretty satisfied couple. As long as we don't bring up money, religion, politics or the children...holy crud, what do we talk about???

Anyway, married or not, I'm a human being. A not so old, somewhat attractive, fun, woman. What this means is that I still have many of the same thoughts, opinions, and dreams as I always did.

Trust me, there's a point and I promise to get to it.

I work with the public and meet a lot of people on a daily basis. Many, people come into the bank day in and day out. I see many familiar faces each week, and many new ones too. A huge variety of people. I love it.

There are a select few people that we come to know well and have a big fondness for. These people are usually the ones with cute kids, cute animals, nice old people and cute men. That's right, we like cute men! We're a bank whose employees are 100% women and we like the cute boys that come in. There's no shame. We're not dead for crying out loud.

Anyway, out of our cute crushes I have one in particular that I am fond of. I think I like him because he reminds of Dave Matthews who I think is adorable and funny as hell. He's cute and I bribe him to my window with candy and it works every time.

Well, today a very young and quite adorable healthy guy came to my window, instantly reminding me of the late Heath Ledger. Really, really cute. I was extremely glad he ended up with me. Lo and behold, he hands me some money and a deposit slip that has my cute little Dave Matthews look a likes name on it. Huh??? Why??? Oh, we're business partners he explains. Oh, your partner is nice and adorable too. He laughs. I'll take your word for that he says. Of course I'm thinking he's pretty darn cute himself, thank you.

I'm helping him and constantly imagining that these two guys are business partners and clearly friends. They work along side each other. And all I can think of is...sweet!! The two of them in the same place. Ok, I suddenly think I need some computer tech support and pronto! (that's there business specialty).

The point of this is that I stood there googling to myself about how darn fine these two guys are and I am over 30, married with two kids and I'm at work!! So, I think to myself: that's right, I'm still human after all.

It was a good time. Granted,they don't smell like sawdust and sweat, maybe more like microchips and wiring, but who cares? I'll ogle them anyway. Why not? I'm married, not dead.

I still look & you can too,
Sissy

Blogger is pissing me off now

Ok, I'm a relatively new blogger. I've discovered that I really like it. Even though I don't have much of a following, thank goodness for Chikku or I wouldn't have any!! Thanks, by the way. I love her. Anyway, fans or not, I really just like writing it for myself even. It's relaxing and therapeutic. However, I've recently run into a snag that has me fuming. I can no longer edit my layout or add pictures to my posts. Now, I can live without changing my layout I suppose, but I really like adding pictures to my posts. I don't know what the heck happened. It was fine one day, gone to crap the next. I've tried every help area I can find, tried changing browsers and so on. Nothing works. So, I'm venting right now, and maybe someone will read and offer advice.
Sissy

Topic of the Day

A Healthy Dose of Unreality

Never underestimate the power of a good imagination. I realize that we must be grown up, but we don't have to numb and boring. We are encouraged from an early age to think big and use our imaginations to create things and take us places. Our parents want us to go outside or in our rooms and pretend something!! There's nothing to do, we say. Then pretend you're a horse or something, we were told.

Imagination will take you places. It turns your backyard into the African jungle, a tennis racket into a guitar, your bed into a roomy station wagon and your hallway into a runway. We laugh and play and pretend our mom's giant makeup kit is a super intelligent computer system. We don't need money or things to be happy, just our imaginations.

So, why is it when we get older we are told to put those imaginations away and focus, live in the real world. Stop living with your heads in the clouds, pay attention to school and work and so on. Your imagination is causing you nothing but trouble, they tell us.

Gee, which is it already?

Well, in my opinion, I think ceasing to use the imagination that gave us so much joy and entertainment as kids is a travesty! Why do we need to stop imagining things, playing make believe in our imagination? It's healthy. And it can still take us places. What's so wrong with imagining yourself as the first lady president, or imagining that your Oscar acceptance speech? Frankly, I often imagine how it might be if I suddenly became the criminal psychologist I wish I was.

I don't think we should be afraid of using our imaginations...we should be afraid of NOT using them.

Dream On,
Sissy

Sweat and Sawdust

I saw something today that made me think of just about the sexiest thing I think I've seen and smelled. And that is a man who is sweaty and has been working with wood. The combination of sweat and sawdust is intoxicating. Now, if they're shirtless...even better. A young guy came into work today, clearly having just finished working with wood (he's a cabinet maker as I found out). The way he looked and smelled was so great. It's like good pheronomes. So next time you have a chance to be close to a man fresh off a woodworking job, by all means...get close. Not offensive, piss off your husband close, but close enough to enjoy that raw, organic, natural smell.
Sissy

Topic of the Day

Generosity and Kindness

In my opinion are just not nice enough any more. Not that there aren't nice people, of course there are. But, for the most part, people just don't seem as nice as they used to.

However, today was a good day for nice people. I work at the bank, handling the business accounts. I meet a lot of people every day. Most are not new customers, as I handle most of the same accounts each day. Yet there are days when I do get to meet some new people, when I'm having slow days with my merchants.

I've found that it's true people don't seem to be as nice, as I mentioned. However, with that said, I stress the word 'seem'. I've discovered that it may seem as if someone isn't very neighborly when, in fact, they are, but don't show it. My guess is that they figure the same as I do, that people aren't kind anyway. Or perhaps they are just to busy.

Today, was a slow day and so I was able to take some time with people that I don't usually have the luxury of doing. Having a leisure conversation with anyone is a luxury I'm rarely afforded at my job. But having been able to today, and enjoying it immensely, got me to thinking about the different people I have met through work.

I have been given candy, flowers, cards and many thoughtful treasures, as well as some verbal praise at work from the customers. I have broken through some tough exteriors of people most of my co-workers can't stand because of rudeness.

I think of them now and smile. The simple act of remembering a bitter seeming older lady's name changed her from nasty to nice. Going the extra mile for a business company earned me not only praise but a handshake from a customer that does little more than complain. Discovering missing paperwork for another very needy customer was thanked by a dinner at their restaurant. I was told upon my return from vacation that I was missed, by a customer that is referred to the jerk of the bank by some (and also happens to be my manager's grandpa). She, herself, was shocked by his saying it.

Now, I'm not bragging about the things being nice may get you in terms of gifts. What I mean to stress is that by simply being kind to people, offering assistance that goes just a bit beyond, and remembering a person's name is a friendly act that will often get you the same in return. Do unto other's, right?

It's nice that they think of me at Christmas and bring me Poinsettia's. It's nice that they bring me candy on Halloween. And it's nice that remember I have kids and bring them small gifts on holidays. I love that they do and find it so thoughtful. However, the best return I get for my kindness are those little things like getting a smile from the grumpy old person, or the handshake from our 'pain in the butt' customer, or the kind words from someone notoriously hard to please.

Kindness begets kindness....

Sissy

Topic of the Day

In Need of a New Career

I'm reaching my limit at work. I suppose this is actually a phenomenon that many of us suffer from on a daily basis. Who really wants to work? Unless you're doing the job you love. If I were, how happy I'd be. But I'm not. I'm a college graduate with two degrees and I am a merchant teller for a bank.

Needless to say this is not the career path I was thinking of when I began school. I am a criminal justice graduate with dreams of entering the field. I have always wanted to be a part of the solution, to help and make a difference. I love the idea of being someone that can say they have mattered in the big picture. I guess we all want that.

Now, I know I do matter in may people's big pictures. My family and friends and so on let me know that I do matter in the grand scheme of things. And I love them for that. But that doesn't pay my bills, unfortunately. And it also doesn't feed my need for self accomplishment.

What I want to do is work with offenders on a very personal level or consult on investigations. I have a strong feeling for sex crimes. The reason is because there is a part of violent sex crimes that I believe goes unnoticed. I could expand on that thought, and I think I will, but not right now.

In going to school I planned on making these dreams a reality and gaining a feeling of being exactly where I should be, as well doing good in the world. However, things do not always go as planned. I live in a small town and am only recently coming to realize that I am not going anywhere. Aside from being married to someone who is anti-city, I have a very sick mother in law who is suffering from severe Alzheimer's.

Due to her illness we are here to stay. We can't leave dad to fend for himself. They're old and need us. So, I'm stuck in this small town with basically not options when it comes to fulfilling my career dreams. I pretty much have to drag myself to that job everyday.

I need a new career!! I'm overworked and over educated and under appreciated and under paid. but I am grateful that I do have a job. This is a hard place to find work. But I'm getting older and I'm feeling my chances slipping away.

Still hopeful,
Sissy

Topic of the Day

Being Faithful

Ok, this is a touchy subject. Not because I'm unfaithful, I'm not, nor have I ever been to even the biggest jerks I've dated. And there have been plenty of those. I have been cheated on though. I think it's touchy because there have been so many unfaithful people for so many reasons.

Now, I have to ask: is there ever a legitimate or acceptable reason to cheat? Personally, I have to say no. That's just me. I figure if you're that damn miserable and are thinking of or want to cheat then you either need to deal with some issues or get out of the relationship. But don't cheat. It demeans you as much as well as possibly hurting someone very badly.

That said, I can understand how it can be difficult for a person to stay faithful. The truth is, there are times with everyone that I think the opportunity to cheat makes itself present.

Personally, since I've lost a lot of weight I have been hit on much more than I have in a very long time, and by a few young, good looking guys, as well as others. Anyway, as you may know, my marriage is not perfect, and sometimes I question if it will survive. This being the case, being hit on by anyone, especially a young hot guy, absolutely sends my head spinning with flattering and pride. Ok, if these guys saw me without my clothes they'd realize that losing a lot of weight fast leaves its own ugly visuals, but that's not the point.

The point is, it feels good to know that you're attracting people and that you still 'got it'. Especially if you haven't been told that very much at home. One thing I can say for Ox is that he does continually make me feel beautiful, even if he also makes me feel like he thinks I'm an idiot. Again, that's a post for another day.

So, does misery at home justify infidelity? No, of course not. Is there anything that does? What if one person is terminally ill, long term, no chance of recovery. They decide you should cheat, that you need that physical connection and since they can't give it to you, you should find it somewhere else. Is it ok then? Still, no, for me.

I just think it's not right, regardless of the circumstances. Even if they cheat on you first. My gosh, leave them already if they're cheaters anyway.

The only reason I'm choosing to write about this is because I see a lot of cheating and it bothers me. Even if you're not married, but have made a committment of any kind to each other, it is still wrong. But what I wanted to make clear is that even though I am adamant about disagreeing with cheating because I've seen what it can do, I can understand the temptation.

The want and need to feel loved and desired never dies. We never stop wanting to be wanted. Yet, many times this need falls short after years of togetherness and then you begin to not feel as wanted, needed or desired. Things have slowed down and the passion isn't what it used to be. During these times I understand a person being tempted. We never stop being attracted to people. Heck, I still like looking at good looking guys, but I just look.

I think there's a point to this somewhere. That point being that relationships are hard. They change. People change. Life happens. But regardless of that we should always make a point to let our significant others that they are still sexy and wanted and loved. And we should make the time for each other, even when life is its busiest. Being a couple takes work, commitment is tough.

But, as they say, anything worth having is worth working for.

Faithfully,
Sissy