My Sister Has Lost Her Mind

That's right, my sister is looney tunes. I don't even know where to start. The truth is, it should have happened before. Let me give you a brief background, (I'll try to refrain from condemnation of certain people in our family).

First, Mel is my little sister, step sister actually. But we have been sisters since very early childhood. I can't stress enough how she is as much my sister as my blood sister is.

Ok, while were young we found out that her grandfather and uncle were molesting her and my other step sister quite frequently. Long story short: it brought a lot of pain and sorrow and the effects of it are still felt by all of us today. I'm only mentioning it because I think that it's important to know when trying to understand Mel because I think it's the driving force behind her whole life.

Mel always seemed to live in denial when dealing with the abuse. She always was nonchalant and often didn't understand why I had such a severe reaction to it. She has no animosity to her mother (who knew of the abuse for years) and no animosity to her father, even asking him to not press charges against the uncle. She didn't understand my hatred, I didn't understand her love of people I considered monsters. However, this difference never stopped us from loving and supporting each other.

At 14, Mel was introduced a man who was approaching mid 30's. This man briefly dated her mother. Her mother being the sick, disturbed person she is, encouraged the two of them to get together when she realized she didn't like the guy. Again, we were all appalled. Again, her father pressed no charges. Again, I was pissed off. Again, I blamed her mother.

Long story short, Mel married this guy when she was 18. They proceeded to have two kids. This weekend was to be there 12th anniversary. At this point, I'd become accustomed to them being together, though still kind of disgusted. Believe me, I expected a meltdown from her a long time ago. I thought she would wake up one day and realize that she missed her whole life. But it didn't happen.

Until now.

The last year Mel has been having issues regarding her abuse and has gotten to the point where she is now angry with her parents, and feels that I am one of only a few people who really had it together and wanted what was best for her all along. She's been trying to deal with a very ugly past. I'm helping as much as I can being a country apart. These problems did not come as a surprise, they just came later than I expected them to.

It was some time the last several months that she started questioning her marriage. I knew there was going to be problems with her realizing that she never had a chance to be young and have fun. I could see she was beginning to resent her husband too because of feeling that he took advantage of her when she was too young. Which he did!!

Anyway, no up to date. She called me two days ago and told me that she has left her husband. She wants a divorce, she doesn't want the kids and she has been cheating for over a year. She (and I quote) is a slut! Her words. She admitted to going out almost every weekend and sleeping with whoever she meets up with.

I was not surprised to hear of her leaving, but the rest has me shocked and concerned. I am so worried about my niece and nephew and how they must be feeling with the divorce, and their mom not wanting to take them. I'm concerned with my sister's emotional well being, I think she's handling the past totally the wrong way. And I'm worried about her physically, as she admitted to not using protection.

She did say she is seeing a therapist, but I'm not sure what the focus is on. I know why this is happening, I just am having a hard time with how it is happening. Like I said, nothing is happening that I didn't predict, it just took longer to happen. But I never expected her to change so much.

I'm just not sure what the appropriate things for me to say to her are. Is it more important for me to show her love and support, or to offer some opinions and guidance? Should I keep my mouth shut about some things? I did tell her to stop being a fool and use protection. That's non negotiable, big mouth opened. If I tell her I think her behavior is appalling it might do more harm than good. I don't know. I'd love any helpful advice.

Sissy