Ok, my posts are gonna be pretty slim for the next four or five days. I have some work issues at the moment and then we're leaving for a few days. I'm gonna try to post something tonight, but not sure I'll have time after doing some work. So, probably the only one really missing me is, well....me.
Thursday, March 13, 2008
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11 comments:
this makes me really sad..u r not right about the missing part.actually i would really miss ur posts and u...yeah.. and about what you had asked...im an Indian more specifcally a "Malayali" from a beautiful state of rivers, mountians and back waters called Kerala in the Southern part of India....U r right, im really missing my freedom here without a license.But i just came here in October after my wedding and since im on a dependent visa i cant work till i change my visa to H1..that wud take some more time...Im really thrilled of my stay in US and enjoy it too apart from the fact that i miss my family and frinds a lot.
hope u post something tonight before u leave...are u going to the beach trip u had mentioned.. hope u have a great time then.....
Thanks for missing me!! I really appreciate it and feel like a million dollars. Well, close anyway. I'm glad you came here, though I'm sad you're apart from your family. I hope you see them sometimes. Did you meet your husband in India? Is he Indian or American? Ok, maybe that stuff isn't my business, I'm just curious, cuz I like talking to you.
:-)
hey...u can sak me anything..not a problem... u r the only real good friend i made from blogging... n really enjoy talking to you... my husband is an Indian too..we met in India nad like many other Indian marriages had an arranged marriage...[Hope u know what it means]...He is in the IT field and is working for a company here...
what made you guys leave india? are all marriages there still arranged? are you happy with it? i guess it seems odd to americans, but not to you. so i sound presumptious. there is a couple i know slightly well from work who are indian and i have often wanted to ask if there marriage was arranged. but i don't want to offend. they are such a beautiful couple. they have so much respect and kindness to each other. and they are so young!! so, when you get to the point of being able to, do you want to work? what are you interested in doing? are you guys staying in illinois? i went to chicago for a day once and it was great. cold, but great :-)
hey...I told u already..u can ask me these things... i know its just curiosity,...even i feel the same when i read some blogs...My husband works for an IT company in Illinois..Thats how we r here and as i said I like it here.Everything is so different from my country..Though i somehow dont agree with some of the life styles here, mainly relationships, I very much love the facilities we get here and the better standard of living too.We had an arranged marriage..We never dated before marriage..But used to have long and long hours of phone calls.What do i see in ur face now, shock or surprise???? ...Most of them still have arranged marriages in my country.Im very happy in my marriage apart from the usual silly arguments and fights...Touch wood!Actually i feel both love marriages and arranged marriages have both their positives n negatives..But 75% of Indians still have arranged marriages and live happily..The other 25% include both love and arranged miserable weddings...lol...I actually believe its all about understanding,loving and caring...I don believe we can understand a person completely even after living with for a year or two..Its a long process which takes time...But Obviously if by mistake we get hooked up to someone really bad, we r in a mess... i had made a post on this before..there is more to Indian weddings... i can tell u in detail if you like to know...we usually dont get married to guys younger to us..but now a days most cities r influenced by the western culture and there r many changes...
chikku :)
Thanks for sharing so much with me. I love learning about other cultures. In all honesty, arranged marriages might make more sense. The truth, Americans aren't very good when it comes to sustaining marriages. It's a shame. Divorce is just so easy now and no one sees it as a negative anymore. Not that I think you should stay with someone who makes you miserable, or worse hurts you, but people just cut and run over anything it seems these days. Marriage is hard, but worth fighting for. I'm in for the long haul, even though we are having problems. I'm really trying to be positive that we will be fine. My husband is ten years older than me, so we have a bit of a gap that effects things some times. As for the long phone conversations in the beginning of your relationship, I think it's awesome. Truthfully, we're much more open over the phone anyway when we aren't looking someone face to face. Maybe it's easier to learn about each other that way. But what if you had decided through those conversations that he really was wrong for you? Would you have had to be married anyway? And what if he ended up being abusive or a cheater? Would your culture demand you stay together regardless? I'm curious and very interested. I am glad you don't find me nosy!! Which I kinda am actually...but not in a bad way! I promise.
Sissy
okai..see...this is how it goes.. first of all the parents look fro horoscope matches... now thats something only Hindus do...Since im a very religious person, im not completely against it , but then it doesn't make complete sense too..Sometimes its weird.Horoscope is like trying to match if the stars match.Just like we have sun signs, we have a more defined version of it.Now when the parents find a real good,educated well behaved guy, dey check for the horoscope and other family details of the guy/girl...now if all that seems gud, den the they both meet...That time, they get to talk privately for an hour or so.If they like each other, then we proceed with it.Its usually only after the wedding is fixed, that they date.Normally sex before wedding is a complete NO...lol... most Indians girls and guys lose their virginity to their spouse...Mostly weddings work this way cuz most of the times, guys turn up to be good cuz parents would have enquired about the general nature of the guys/gals...but sometimes it so happens that the person would be an a**, den we can get off it.. It wouldn't be as easy as its here to live the life of a divorcee, but then its okai...But this is a rare case and can happen in both love and arranged marriages..Divorces are very rare in India..but noone would force us to continue in an abusive relation...Best thing is we would alws have our families support..We live with our parents till we get married...any time they would be there for us to rely...I think whether its love or arranged, both have positives and negatives.. but most imp thing is we have to understand that marriage is an important commitmnet...noone is perfect.and yeah, we never get married to guys younger to us unless its a long marriage..but most indan girls prefer to love elder guys,..lol...Its always considered better that way.My husband is 5 years elder to me.I preferred 3-4, but then after we had our 1st conversation, i was all head over heels for him...lol..I like the idea that we get to know a person really well before marrage... but then, i really believe we can never understand a person completely till we get married...thats a different lif rite...we never see any negatives till we actually get married n live tigether...till wedding it would all be blind love and we open our eyes after wedding...like someone said.... love is a dream and marriage is the alarm clock...lol...i like this one...I really greatly appreciate your effort to make your marriage work..that way u r even providing a good life to your kids and yourself....u have a wonderful heart...that was long... more details on the next go....take care and enjoy...
chikku :)
I have to say that the idea I had of an arranged marriage is much different than the reality. I suppose that's something you come across a lot. Especially with us Americans who tend to think we know it all. (well, not all of us, but many). I am really glad to learn more, I have a much more positive outlook of an arranged marriage. It's not nearly as cut and dry as I thought. It entails a lot of time, effort, consideration and trust for all parties involved, including parents, which I actually think isn't such a bad thing. That said, my father can't stand my husband and our relationship died because of it. I miss my dad a lot. Anyway, I love that you were head over heels...what a great way to begin a life together. You may not exactly know what you're in for until you're married and living together but head over heels must be a good way to start. I have to add that I absolutely love, love that you live at home until you're married. I really loved living at home and probably would to this day had I not gotten married. I enjoy being with my family and sharing things with them. Living at home was never a negative for me. Even now, I miss it at times. I lived at home until I was 21 or so. I feel very fortunate to have met you here. You have been fun to communicate with and have also begun to teach me things about the world I didn't know. And I love that. Sometimes, we all need to be reminded that there is a whole world out there that we may geographically be separated from yet share the earth with. We should make a point to learn from each other. THanks for that.
Sissy
Oops!I had missed this last comment from u.. i read it now.trust me, even im so glad i met u here.I dont know y, but u r the only one whom i feel so close among my blogging friends.Infact u r the only blogging friend i have i must say.all others just leave a comment and i do the same.But i feel i have known u for a long time.
Yeah,as u said arranged marriages aren't so dry like many think.Infact its good that we start a new married life with fresh and tender love...but as for the problem with ur dad, it happens even in arranged marriages, but what happens in our place is kinda funny..Usually the girls's parents doesn't mess up with the guy coz they know their daughter's happiness is in his hands.lol...lol...whatever..But its hell lot different from here..Oh, yeah another thing u might like to know...after marriage the bride stays in her husbands house with his parents...i mean thats how its supposed to be, but now poeple actually dont follow this much..now this has created a lot of problems.. cuz most of the times his parents wouldn't be able to accept everything she does and vice versa...Unlike here, there is a lack of privacy in life sometimes there.Sometimes parents demand dowry, now all these create porblems again...
but we r mostly very close to all distant relatives of our families and our husband's families and most of them[except a few] would be always there to help us and be with us in times of any pain or anxiety.Im very close to my grandparents's brother's and sister's,their children and grandchildren and we visit eachother occassionaly..now these family bonds r something i enjoy...Actually i enjoy leaving these comments to u more than posting something inmy blog..hihihi...where's u girl? im waiting to read the rest of her story.. :) Im sure all ur problems would be settled very soon n u would b happy as ever...u know y? cuz u r a wonderful person...n good things happen to good people...
thanks so much. i can't tell you how much it means to me. i really enjoy our exchanges. and i love you sharing your culture with me. you're a great person to count as a friend. as for my kid...she has a short attention span. LOL...she is 15.
Sissy
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